Prince Charming

 

"...seek and you will find..."

Matthew 7:7

Ahh....love. It's a wonderful thing, no? Oh, I'm not talking about the fairy-tale, Cinderella-story kind of love. I'm talking about the kind that's real. (Oh, you thought fairy tales actually exist? Excuse me while I chuckle for a moment...) No, I'm talking about practical, every day kind of love. Everybody wants it. All you have to do is look down the list of movies they're giving at the theatre, or look up this week's line up on the Lifetime Movie Network channel. Take a walk through the humongous Romance section at Barnes & Nobles or your local library. Or just pick up the latest gossip magazine at the supermarket check-out area. Love -- the quest for it and the heart break of it -- seems to be on everyone's mind all the time.

Now, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of single ladies (and guys) out there who are single and loving it and I say "kudos" to you because that shows that you're emotionally healthy and grateful for all that your life does have. But for those of you who are struggling with this, well....you're not alone. (So keep reading.)

When you don't have love in your life, this over-emphasis can make you feel down in the dumps because all it does is make your loneliness that much more obvious (at least to you). Some people feel that emptiness way deep inside their souls. Not only do you not have a romantic love, maybe you don't have familial love, either, or the love that comes from true friendships. That emptiness is like a gaping, black hole in your life. You try not to think about it during your day-to-day, but every once in a while, it creeps up on you and taps you on the shoulder. Like the time you got that big promotion and you didn't have anyone to celebrate with. Or when you went on vacation...alone. Or maybe the loneliness slaps you in the face when you are once again, attending the wedding of yet another friend or family member and everyone around you notices your ring-less finger while shaking their head in sympathy and clucking their tongues, whispering about how your biological clock is just ticking away. Let me not even get started on how bad it can be for some people during the holidays!

This loneliness can be gut-wrenching. It can be depressing. It can even be dangerous. In their desperate attempt at "solving" their loneliness, women (and men) will sometimes reach out and latch on to anyone, whether they're good for them or not. They skip the dating part and go straight to the "dessert." They know the guy for a few months and quickly decide to get married before he changes his mind. They stay with a person who is emotionally and/or physically abusive. I mean, the list goes on and on....

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to find your Prince Charming or your very own Cinderella. There's nothing wrong with wanting to settle down, have a few kids. If your loneliness stems from lack of other types of relationships, then I say to you that there's nothing wrong with yearning for friendships with others that are true and sincere and loyal (none of that back-stabbing business, please!) But here's the thing. Even if you found Prince Charming tomorrow, he isn't going to be enough to fill that aching need deep within your soul. He might compliment you, he might make you incredibly happy sometimes. He might even ease your loneliness. But he won't fill that little spot inside of you that yearns for that "something else." Because there's only one guy who can do that.

His name is Jesus.

Before you roll your eyes and tell me how corny I sound, think about it for a second. You've done it all. You have a successful career. Financially, you're well off. You have a great pad, a nice car. You've traveled the world and experienced fascinating new things -- surfing, rock climbing, gourmet cooking. You've picked up some pretty cool hobbies like pottery, gardening, ball-room dancing, painting. When you go out with your friends, you're laughing, joking around, having a grand ol' time. Everyone who sees you thinks: "Damn, that guy/girl has the perfect life."

But it's not so perfect, is it?

Because at the end of the day, when you leave the party, when you leave your job, when you come back from your trip, when you're one night stand slips out in the middle of the night -- the emptiness is still there.

We try all sorts of things to fill that hole in our lives. Some people even go as far as turning to drugs or alcohol. Food is another tool used to search for comfort. Others lose themselves in their work. Some think that sex, because it's such an intimate act, will do it for them. But the next day, your bed is cold and empty. The numbing high of drugs and alcohol will eventually wear off. And that piece of chocolate cake is only going to lead to another, and another, and another....

You can deny it all you want. You can turn off the computer right now and walk away. But you know it's true. You're searching for love --- for someone to accept you and care for you and protect you. But honey, you're looking in all the wrong places. All you need to do, is look up.

The apostle John put it very simply: God is love. Pure, undiluted, untainted, sacrificial kinda love. That kind of unblemished, soul-filling, gut-wrenching love can only come from Him. Not from a husband or wife. Not from a child or a best friend. Not from work or food or drugs or alcohol or whatever else you're using. You can keep on searching for things or people to fill that hole in your life, but nothing and no one is gonna fill it like Jesus can. Once you realize that and accept Him into your life, being alone will no longer be so unbearable to you because deep inside, even though you can't see Him, you know that He's with you. And knowing that is going to give you a sense of peace like you've never felt before.

Believe it or not, you were created to worship God. You were created, as His child, to have a relationship with Him. And until you recognize this, the tide of your loneliness will never recede. Jesus Himself says in John 6:35:

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall never hunger

and he who believes in me, shall never thirst." 

He also says in John 8:12:

"I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness,

but have the gift of life."

Now that's what I'm talking about! What a promise! He will take you out of the darkness and give you life. Life! (Close your eyes and just breathe the word in.) Everything that's beautiful about life He will give to you because that what He's all about: beauty, light, love, peace....

Not only will you be knocked over by His peace and His love, you'll also learn a lot about patience. Eventually, you'll find that special someone. Sometimes God withholds certain things from our lives because the timing isn't right (and when I mean timing, I'm not talking about your timing, I'm talking about His). Other times our hearts or our circumstances (aka: your life) requires a few adjustments or some tweaking before He can look down and say: "Okay, she's ready now."

Remember, God only wants the best for you. The very best. There's no such thing as second-best or hand-me-downs or leftovers when it comes to God. I'm a very firm believer in that there is someone out there for everyone. He might not come into your life when you want him to and you might have to wait a bit, but when love comes...oh, how wonderful will it be! Because you waited in God's time, He'll reward you with the very person He's been grooming all these years especially for you. And it will be absolutely lovely. It doesn't matter if you're 45 or 65...it's never too late for love.   

But in the meantime, why don't you make Jesus your Prince Charming. Because guess what? Unlike the characters that came from Walt Disney's imagination, He's not a fairytale.

His love is very, very real.